May 2012
When people talk about Tumblr in public...
I SWEAR I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH.
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9 DAYS UNTIL FREEDOM
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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Stressed.
I only have 4 exams this year but I’m way more stressed than I was last year when I had 5 and the year before when I had 8, how does that work?!
I should really be worrying about Accounts since that’s on Friday but instead I’m getting myself worked up about maths which isn’t until the 21st.
What is wrong with meeeeeeeeee?
WHATCHA TALKING ABOUT WILLIS?
Twitter Banter
Aw maaaaaaaaan, people crack me up on Twitter!
So many flipping hypocrites need to go back to Facebook.
Talking indirectly about someone and complaining about how they indirect tweet at them? Seriously you’re just as bad as them then.
Oh and I hate how half these randoms that have popped up on Twitter do not know how to spell things or use grammar :\
I have the sex appeal of a math book.
Excuse you.
☺More Laughs Here.